Hibernation

IMG_6761January is often the most hated month. The let down after the busy days of Christmas holidays and it’s frantic preparations and the cold weather often lead to depression for some. Myself, I embrace January and wish it could be so much longer.

It is a time for quietness and self reflection. An opportunity to do something for oneself. No yards to tend and no preparations to make. or so you think. Sometimes I would really like to be just left alone.

That statement puts me in a conundrum. I am split between the selfish wish for solitude and the compelling need to help others. Throughout my life I have always been the one people seek out for advise and leadership. I blame my Mother for instilling a strong sense of duty and the ability to figure out how to do most anything. I don’t really think I am that smart but I can figure things out if I want to. A skill sadly lacking these days for many. You would think people would just Google it!

I look longingly at those retirees that just show up to take part in events that are organized for them. Church, coffee parties, pickle ball or whatever. Endless time to go to art classes of coffee dates with friends. So you say why don’t you. Firstly someone has to organize those things and that seems to often fall on people like me. Oh ask her, she’s good at that stuff or the why can’t there be stuff to do? She has the skills, she has done it for years. Don’t get me wrong, I like to do some of that stuff and take satisfaction from doing a job well. I also have an extreme sense of duty to my small rural community. I have fought for it most of my life.

There are just times I would like to just do stuff I like and want to do without all the other stuff getting in the way. I wish I could just be oblivious to everyone’s needs some days. Just not show up, or not follow through. Say I’ll do something and just forget about it. There are lots of those people around but thanks to Mom, not me. OK now I am just feeling sorry for myself.

So here is the Resolution for this year. Spend more time on me. Nurture my spirit. Paint, write, garden and yes blog a bit more. Learn how to be more accountable to me. And say no to doing stuff I don’t want to do. Oh and I need to organize my time better. Retirement can get very relaxing. Have a great 2016 everyone.

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Author: boomerbanter

I'm a 50 something Grandma that loves God, her family and living in rural remote western Canada.

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